


so this is love

by minormixolydian



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29697936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minormixolydian/pseuds/minormixolydian
Summary: Sayo confesses, gets rejected, and now she has to deal with being in the same band as her crush.
Relationships: Hikawa Sayo/Imai Lisa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	so this is love

The mood isn't right. Maybe that's the reason, maybe she shouldn't have done it while they were baking together, in Lisa's house. And if that's not it, there's gotta be something. Sayo keeps turning the sequence of events in her head. If it's not the mood, the order's all wrong, too. She doesn't even remember what she's said, they've both said in the last five minutes. Just that Yukina rang the door and Lisa went to chat with her for what felt like an eternity while Sayo was left to wait for the oven to ring alone. She probably got jealous and snippy, it's such a Sayo thing to do, and then accidentally confesses. Her confession itself must be the problem, absolutely, with all the stuttering and mumbling she's not even sure Lisa hears it right. 

But there's no doubt Lisa gets her meaning, because she goes awkward immediately and Lisa never goes awkward. The tension's tight enough Sayo can pluck it like she does her guitar. Lisa looks down and her voice is shaking, and she's saying, "I'm sorry, Sayo." And then the cookies are done and they pack them in silence and Sayo leaves before things can get even more awkward. Although she's hard pressed to think of how things can get more awkward than her asking, pressing Lisa point-blank on if she's got someone else, if that's why she rejects Sayo, like a two-bit asshole mob character in a shojo manga harrassing the heroine before the real love interest arrives to save the day. 

Sayo groans at the memory and presses her pillow to her face. The pillow is going to be absolutely soggy and disgusting in the morning but the last thing she needs is Hina hearing her cry. She takes a peak at her phone and regrets it immediately, looking at the number of missed calls and texts from Lisa. Being a kind soul it's no wonder Lisa would be worried, but at the moment it just hurts Sayo, being treated like just one of Lisa's many friends. 

"How am I going to show my face to rehearsal tomorrow." The problem is more Yukina though. If Lisa tells Yukina she's finished. Their diva is super protective of her childhood friend, and that's if Yukina isn't the person Lisa likes. Actually, the more Sayo thinks about it the more it makes sense. Of course Lisa likes someone else, and who else if not Yukina. Doesn't Lisa herself often say she's only in Roselia to make Yukina smile? And what even is that song she wrote if not a confession - the first song Yukina approves of even? 

Sayo doesn't know what she'll do if she gets kicked out of Roselia on top of getting rejected. She doesn't know id she can face Lisa after this and continue in Roselia as normal. agonizes and falls asleep somehow still agonizing. Then she wakes up and agonizes through the entire school day. She thinks she's being obvious about it, everyone from Aya to effing Chisato looks at her with some kind of worry. Then school is over and she agonizes even more all the way to CiRCLE. She enters the studio with dread, but it's sort of anticlimactic when there's only Yukina inside. "Lisa got an emergency call from her boss," Yukina says, speaking to Sayo like normal. Sayo's relieved, either because she doesn't have to face Lisa or because it doesn't seem like Yukina knows anything. 

But then Yukina continues staring at her. "Sayo are you…is everything ok, with you and Lisa?" 

Sayo is filled with a mixed of emotions, mostly those that makes her eyes sting with pending tears, so she's more than relieved when Ako bursts into the studio with Rinko close behind, and then Yukina has no choice but to start rehearsal. Sayo does her best to not notice Lisa's absence - she's trying so hard not to think of Lisa at all. Not the way the band just sounds empty without Lisa's bass, or that they usually make eye contacts here and there, and how wrong it feels to be distributing the cookies they made together all by herself. She's not sure she succeeds with the way everyone steals glances at her. Again, she thinks angrily, here and at school she's so obvious and pathetic that everyone notices. 

Unlike the last time she's absent Lisa never comes even after rehearsal ends. While tidying up Ako says loudly, "I wonder why. It's not like Lisa-nee to abandon us." To which Yukina shrugs, and when she thinks Sayo isn't looking, she looks pointedly at her. 

Of course Yukina knows why. So does Sayo. It's her, she's the problem, she's the one letting her emotions ruin the atmosphere of the band they've carefully built up. Sayo grits her teeth and excuses herself as soon as she's done. 

She doesn't immediately go home. Sayo's head is sort of empty as she wanders around, filled with Roselia's music. It's good for that, she finds, getting lost in her guitar, getting lost in the moment. She walks by the riverside. Even though it's getting pretty late the sun still hasn't set. Sayo's not alone in enjoying the spring evening. She watches the children playing, the people walking their dogs, and the occasional couples holding hands. She feels a pang watching these last sort but it's a distant sort of pain. Maybe she's already getting over it, shw thinks, because it's done. She's confessed, she's been rejected, now it's time for her to focus on other things like Roselia. For Roselia she can endure a bit of pain and interact with Lisa normally. 

* * *

Sayo absolutely can't do this. It's only an hour into the rehearsal the next day, and Yukina's already called the session to a halt three times, all of them Sayo's fault. 

The fourth time Yukina just glares straight at Sayo, and even though it's not her fault at all, also Lisa. Sayo just glares at her guitar, ignoring Lisa's worried look sent her way. It's not working, whatever she does, however hard she tries to concentrate, Sayo can't ignore Lisa and lose herself in the music. 

"I don't know what's going on between you two," warns Yukina, "but it's starting to affect Roselia." 

"Sorry, Yukina, we'll -" 

"Personal issues have no place in Roselia." Lisa winces at the hollowness in Sayo's voice. "I understand. I shall take my leave of the band." 

Yukina looks confused. "That's a bit extreme, isn't it. Instead I'll give you thirty minutes to talk it out, whatever it is Lisa usually does. That should be enough, shouldn't it?" 

And then they actually do leave Sayo and Lisa alone in the studio. Sayo feels a headache coming. 

Lisa takes off her bass, sighing and massaging her shoulder. "I can't believe Yukina actually… Sayo? Are you going to ignore me for the rest of the break, Sayo?" 

"There's nothing to discuss," Sayo says flatly. Her palms hurt from how hard her nails dig into them. "It's my fault for making things awkward for you too, and my fault for not being able to focus. I…I know what I need to do. So please, give me time and I promise to return to the way things were." 

"So that's it, because I don't return your feelings you're no longer interested in hearing what I have to say?" 

It's like being stabbed, but as much as Sayo wants to deny it she can't. Lisa steps forward. She probably thinks her smile is comforting but unfortunately nowadays Sayo finds her kindness painful. 

"You asked if I liked someone else. But what I wanted to ask is, and what if I do? Or if I don't? Are you going to give up either way?" 

Lisa, Sayo thinks, can be really cruel. Fine, so they're going to do this, picking on Sayo's scar. Fine, she'll reopen the wound, let the poison pour out. "What else am I supposed to do? You don't feel the same way as I do, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I don't want your pity. You're a kind person so you might think you're doing me or Minato-san a favor by forcing yourself to like me, but I don't need you to sacrifice yourself." 

"There you go again! You like me, so you think you know me better than I know myself. And why do you keep saying sacrifice and forcing myself, do you think I'm not happy? Because I'm happy! It's not often someone likes me that much." 

Sayo stares. She feels completely lost, but talking to Lisa often results in such a feeling and rather than minding, Sayo seems to like it. But now's not the time to fall for Lisa's charms, she tells herself. She tells Lisa, "But surely someone as charming as you have many admirers, even suitors." 

"But not a lot of them would get mad at me for dissing myself. It's not the same but I do like you, Sayo." Lisa takes her hand, her smile turning gentle. "Though I guess I never thought you'd be a romantic. Sure in romance stories the protagonists only got together when they've both fallen for each other, but in real life it doesn't have to work that way, does it?" 

Sayo's breath hitches. Don't get your hopes you, she tells herself, but there's practically no other way to interpret Lisa's words. Timidly, she asks, "What do you mean?" 

Lisa's gaze slides off Sayo's, her cheeks flushing pink. "Is it so bad if I only got to like you back the same way later? And I'm not forcing myself or anything, I do want to like you. I want you to try to make me love you back. It's not sacrifice, I'm just being selfish." 

It feels too good to be true. Sayo uses up the last of her good sense to object. "And I don't want to get my hopes up too much only to have it crushed later. I dont…if I do as you wish there's a chance I will hurt you. We might not be able to recover our friendship." 

Lisa takes her other hand. Lisa's hands feel clammy. Huh, Sayo thinks, so Lisa can be nervous too. "Every relationship's got its risk, though. It's one I'm willing to take. But it's up to you, Sayo, we can just forget it." 

Sayo closes her eyes and slowly exhales. The problem is she does want to take Lisa's offer just as much as she's afraid. Her answer is very quiet and breathy, like her confession. "As you wish, Imai-san." 

And like her confession, Lisa hears it anyway. Her smile is surprisingly shy. If nothing else Sayo is getting to see many sides of Lisa thanks to this incident. 

"I think this is where we're supposed to kiss to seal the deal?" Lisa says it playfully, but Sayo can hear the crack in her voice. And don't get her wrong, it's tempting, but in the end Sayo shakes her head. 

"It can wait for when you truly want to kiss-um, when you're comfortable with it." 

Lisa laughs weakly. She sounds relieved. "Well, I want to hug you, can I get that at least?" 

Hugging sounds nice, so Sayo accepts the hug and timidly circles her arms around Lisa. It's not really comfortable, the angle's not quite right but at the same time Sayo doesn't want to shift. But it's…nice. It still feels too good to be true and she's afraid if she moves Lisa will change her mind. But when Lisa pulls back she's grinning and already teasing Sayo for being too timid with her hugs. Unless Sayo's a lot denser than she thinks-and she's plenty dense already-Lisa's indirectly hinting that it's ok to take more. And maybe Sayo should listen to her and take her up. They'll be doing this give and take a lot to hopefully reach a happy ending. She hopes they do, but if they don't Sayo can at least try not to make Lisa regret her decision.


End file.
